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[15 Jul 2007|11:58am]
If anyone reading this is truly my friend then you will buy me this:

It's a deal at only $2300 USD.


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[09 May 2007|04:39pm]
My brother is finally moving to British Columbia. All you simpering dick holes are going to see even less of me now because my two favorite people in the world will be living with me. I think I'll even start not showing up to shows that I'm supposed to play.
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[13 Mar 2007|11:47am]
"I believe that people have a right to believe, to read, and have access to all information, so that they can then make up their own minds what to think. If something is a nonsense, and if something doesn't stand up, it will be shown to be a nonsense in the spotlight of the public arena." - David Icke

Please allow me to illuminate you to one of Mr. Icke's fantastic and highly probable theories.

"I strongly believe that a small Jewish clique which has contempt for the mass of Jewish people worked with non-Jews to create the First World War, the Russian Revolution, and the Second World War. This Jewish/non-Jewish Elite used the First World War to secure the Balfour Declaration and the principle of the Jewish State of Israel. They then dominated the Versailles Peace Conference and created the circumstances which made the Second World War inevitable. They financed Hitler to power in 1933 and made the funds available for his rearmament." - From "And The Truth Shall Set You Free"

Also reptiles...disguised as humans...who run the world through a small network of Jew bankers.

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+2 Field Frolicking [17 Jun 2006|09:38pm]
God bless you, Finland, for keeping the spirit alive
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New Venture Brothers character designs [14 Jun 2006|09:19am]
The new season of the Venture Brothers starts at the end of this month. Here are some character design pics for those of you who have been exposed to it's genius.
Character Designs

Costumes and More Characters

Notice the new butterfly type enemy as well as a redesigned Monarch? Should be totally tits.

I also trolled back through all their new episode images and Jackson has been very careful not to reveal whether Dean and Hank are really dead. All the pics are of Rusty and Brock. What a dick. He also keeps hinting at Rusty and his freakish midget twin teaming up to solve "mysteries".

There are a couple episodes on YouTube if you haven't seen it. Just search for "Venture Brothers".

Ah hell, here you go:

For the lazy
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Paul and Stephen slashfic [13 Jun 2006|09:34am]
The hottest thing ever.
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And I quote, "Fucking clownshoes." [28 May 2006|01:57pm]
Holy shit the show last night. Venue was great, employees were really cool and helpful, but the CROWD. Mother of fuck, the sheer amount of "nihilistic verbosity" was making me nauseous plus all the hooting, hollering, fireworks, and general desire to get hardcore shows blacklisted at yet another venue.

"Back in my days we were more blerf blerf *fart*..." Actually, back in "my day" people were just as stupid, but there had been a nice two year lull in the stupid, and I had forgotten.

Now for the music.

Code 19 was great. 20 seconds of just dbeat. Vocalist was just doing a really high "wawawawawa" and the guitarist had to sit down because he had no strap...who the hell doesn't bring a strap? One the downside, they were the drunk cockfaces who were setting off fireworks later. They are dedicated drunk punks, I will give them that.

Our set. Oh, Jesus, our set. None of us could hear anything except for one element (guitar, vocals, drums) during the whole thing. Shawn's cab kept twitching out. My mic cut out a bunch until I switched it with Scott's. Scott's pedals would come off his kick drum five seconds into a song, and his kit would slowly migrate around. I tried to stand against it to stop it, but it just pivoted around me. Oh yeah, and drunk guys being drunk.

We thought we were awful but people just loved it. Nothing but positive feedback. What the hell is wrong with people? It seems people can't tell the difference between when we play well and when we play bad; and I don't know how I feel about that.

Self Rule were great even without a bass player and a string for a guitar strap (again, a touring band with no guitar strap..wtf?). Played a great Doom cover and had some positive things to say in between songs instead of political shit-talk which tends to be quite prevalent sometimes. Great guys and great songs. Hope Chris enjoys his jaunt with Iskra.

My hand hurts. Bye.
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Aaaaaugh [18 Apr 2006|08:52am]
Oh. Your. God.

Cruise: I Will Eat The Placenta

Hollywood actor Tom Cruise is planning to eat his new baby's placenta, it emerged today.

It is the latest in a series of unusual revelations by the 43-year-old Mission Impossible star about the child he is expecting with fiancee Katie Holmes.

He told GQ magazine: "I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there."
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[16 Apr 2006|10:48am]
Long ago, the ancient race known as the Nerds would gather to engage in rituals known today as ''tabletop gaming'' whereupon they would adopt the character of mythical characters and cast many-sided stones to determine the outcome of fictional interactions. Yea, there would be much scratching of quill upon parchment. Yea, there would be much feasting upon Cheetos® and much drinking of Mountain Dew.

Then, the race known as the Geeks did fashion computer games which allowed the Nerds to enjoy all the best parts of the tabletop gaming ritual without having to venture forth from their basement lairs. And thus, did the great Nerd society collapse.

Until the coming of Magic: The Gathering.
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[16 Apr 2006|09:08am]
"I have nothing to declare but my genius...and this VIBRATING TONGUE for COCKS and FANNIES! OOOOOOOO!" Oscar Wilde
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My First Sinus Infection™ [13 Apr 2006|11:39am]
In the 28 years I've been on this primitive mud ball inhabited by psychotic apes, I've never had the pleasure of having a sinus infection. Oh happy day! Now I can count myself among the many that have shared the experience of their sinuses trying to push their way through their eyes or slowly and constantly leak out of various orifices in their head for two days straight.

I went to the doctor and he was the one who informed me that I indeed have a sinus infection. His first order of business? You guessed it. Prescribe antibiotics! Now, I fucking hate antibiotics because they make me feel about 10x worse than the sickness they are trying to kill (which may or may not be bacterial, so the shit feeling may or may not be worth it at all) and doctors prescribe them for EVERYTHING.

I've taken a single Biology course against my wishes and even though I spent the entire course trying my best not to learn anything, the one thing that did stick is:


If there is one thing I hate more than being sick, it's goddamn zombies.

I explained my concerns to the doctor (without the zombie reference of course) and asked if I actually needed to take them. He said,

"Well, no, but it will be gone much faster and you'll have an easier time with it."

"Fuck it then."

"Excuse me?"

"Fuck it. I don't want to take them if I don't have to and can't afford them anyway, so is there anything else that you can do?"

"I can give you a shot of Cortisone to decrease the inflammation."

"How much does that cost?"

"It's free."

"Hit me, Doc."

So one free injection later, I am at home wallowing in self-pity and shoving small bits of toilet paper up my nose to stem some of the stream of snot coming out of me. I know for a fact that I cannot spare all this moisture for snot production.

Missed two days of work and I hope I don't miss anymore. I need the money to pay for frivolous items such as rent and food.

Still going to Ensign practice even though it causes a very specific form of "head-stabby pain". We need the practice for the 22nd.

I just got snot on my left shift key.
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Thanks Bort. [03 Apr 2006|01:22pm]
Any intelligent, informed, and reasonably objective conservative in America is going to sound an awful lot like a Democrat or a leftist these days. You really don't have to be a flaming hippie to think that starting a quagmirey war is a bad idea.
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Dear Idiots, [31 Mar 2006|11:06am]
Please stop putting URLs into your MSN personal message line. There is no way to select it, and if you think the people in your contact are going to read it and type it in manually, then I welcome you to your first day on the internet. I'm speaking for everyone on your contact list and trust me, we are all just that lazy.

If you want everyone to see a hilarious video of a cat jumping high then just SEND IT TO US. Or better yet, just post it as a bulletin on your Myspace. I don't get enough of those useless things as it is.

I'm off to go troll some more on the #poenews IRC channel.

(This whole tirade is only half serious but I am serious when I want you to stop being dumb. It's giving me wrinkles.)
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This pretty much says it all. [30 Mar 2006|08:16pm]
The most insightful poll you will ever read.
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A Real Update [24 Mar 2006|08:59am]
Ok. Since my livejournal usually consists of me reposting slightly hilarious things I find on the interweb or personal comments dripping with venom, I thought I would do an actual update.

1) The rats, Bunneh and I and settled in the new house. It's great having a place that is just ours and clean (if you are an ex-roommate and reading this, you can go ahead and take that personally if you want).

2) Torin got me a job working at Superior for the summer and I'll supplement that with my usual three shifts at OBFC.

3) Going back to Camosun in the fall to finish my last two courses (because no one wants to hire almost a chemist and employers don't seem to care that I already have an environmental science diploma).

4) Bunneh and I are getting "hitched" on the 19th of August. Hitched is used in the loosest sense of the word. No gods or governments at our party.

5) Bunneh has applied for design school in Vancouver. That means in about two years, her and I are going to be moving to the mainland.

6) Ensign is going slow and steady as usual. Once we get all practiced up again, we are going to Vancouver to record the long songs with Jay.

7) Chaos Assassin is playing Logan's in April with Citadel and A Javelin Reign. We'll probably practice once or twice before then. Plan is to record a one microphone, one take, album soon after that.

8) I am one track away from the Awful Majesty track being finished. Six tracks. Sixty minutes. Jerrod is coming over to lay down some cello tracks next week and I've taken to using more low fidelity field recordings for this last track. It's much more structured and "musical" than the others I've done. Once it's all finished I'll distribute it through La Main Gauche, Short Round Media and my own site.

9) Still smoking lots and lots of pot and wasting time on the POE forums.

That's all you get.
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[13 Mar 2006|06:07pm]

This kitty is cuteness in kryptonite form. Those of us previously impervious to cuteness shall be torn asunder and cleaved in twain by its power.
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[09 Mar 2006|10:12am]
It's snowing/hailing outside and the first think that came to mind is what it would be like in this if we still lived in the unheated, rotting wind tunnel that was our old house.

Fuck, I hated that place.
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LOLZ [06 Mar 2006|01:07pm]
Michael Grade, then chief executive of Channel 4, repeatedly intervened to demand edits to episodes of Brass Eye, and rescheduled some shows for sensitivity. This interference outraged Morris, who responded by inserting into the Decline episode the single-frame subliminal message "Grade is a cunt". This was removed for the DVD release, which also reinstated all of the extant material.
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[02 Mar 2006|11:21am]

Oh, shut the fuck up.
3 comments|post comment

[23 Feb 2006|10:11am]
This whole abortion issue is like the most wicked wave ever for the far right. Right now, they're on top of it, shouting "Cowabunga!" and "Hang Loose!" but any time now it's going to break and deposit them squarely on the spiny coral reef that is a boom in unwed teenage parents.

Those who forget the 80s are doomed to repeat them. It works on so many different levels.
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